Muchos de los años que he estado aquí en este mundo he pensado millones de veces en el dolor, al principio era algo así como Dios tengo miedo de que me duela, ¿Y si me duele mucho que voy a hacer? luego inevitablemente llegaba el momento...Puñalada en la espalda, fin de una relación, despedido de un trabajo, las cosas no salieron como quería, etc....Dolor, llanto, sufrimiento, siempre lo mismo, ¿será que la vida es sinónimo de sufrimiento como dicen en el budismo? Lo cierto es que es inevitable, tarde o temprano llega el momento y sufres, unas veces mas otras menos, con el tiempo seguí sufriendo en muchas situaciones, en la mayoría de ellas solo yo sabía que sufría en las profundidades de mi mente, era como mi juez y mi verdugo al mismo tiempo, la diferencia entre ser el juez y verdugo de otra persona y ser el juez y verdugo de uno mismo radica en que somos mas severos con nosotros mismos, con nosotros podemos ser mas severos y mostrarnos como realmente somos, no hay máscaras, no hay contemplaciones, no hay piedad...
Con el paso de los años he llegado a entender o tal vez a "creer" que tal vez el dolor es parte de la vida, es como un "deber ser" una condición absoluta e inevitable al formar parte de este efímero y corrompido mundo lleno de divisiones ilusorias llamadas "paises", creo que sin dolor la vida no existiría como es, sería otra cosa, sería el lugar donde quiero ir a vivir, muchos lo llaman "Utopía", yo en mi interior, muy profundamente en mi interior, sé que existe...
Hoy en día acepto el dolor cuando toca a mi puerta y lo recibo con cortesía (lo cual no quiere decir que me guste) pero dejo que entre y envuelva mi vida sacando lo peor de mi y a veces ¡hasta lo mejor! ¿Que cínico no? pero tal vez así debe ser, tal vez es lo que tenia que pasar de entre las millones de posibilidades que pudieron ser, tal vez, nunca lo sabré...
Many of the years I've been here in this world i have thought a million times in pain, at first it was something like God! I have fear it can hurt me , what am i gonna do if it hurst a lot? then inevitably the moment always comes... Stab in the back, end of a relationship , fired from a job , things did not go as I wanted , etc .... pain , crying, suffering , always the same , is it that life is synonymous of suffering as they say in Buddhism ? The truth is that it is inevitable , sooner or later the time comes and you suffer , sometimes more, sometimes less, with time kept suffering in many situations, in the most of them only me knew it very deep in my mind , i was my own judge and executioner at the same time, the difference between being a judge and executioner of another person and be the judge and executioner of oneself is that we are more harsh on ourselves, we can be more severe and show us as we really are , no masks , no contemplation , no mercy ...
Over the years I have come to understand or maybe to "believe " that maybe the pain is part of life , is like a "should be" an absolute condition and inevitable to be part of this ephemeral and corrupt world full of illusory divisions called " countries ", I think painless life would not exist as it is, would be another thing , would be the place where I want to go live, many call it "Utopia" , but i, deep inside of me , know it exist ...
Today iaccept the pain when it touches my door and politely receipt ( which is not to say that I like ) but I let in and wrap my life getting the worst of me and sometimes even the best! How cynical isn't it? but maybe it should be, maybe it's what had to happen from the millions of possibilities that could be , maybe , I'll never know ...
ENGLISH
Many of the years I've been here in this world i have thought a million times in pain, at first it was something like God! I have fear it can hurt me , what am i gonna do if it hurst a lot? then inevitably the moment always comes... Stab in the back, end of a relationship , fired from a job , things did not go as I wanted , etc .... pain , crying, suffering , always the same , is it that life is synonymous of suffering as they say in Buddhism ? The truth is that it is inevitable , sooner or later the time comes and you suffer , sometimes more, sometimes less, with time kept suffering in many situations, in the most of them only me knew it very deep in my mind , i was my own judge and executioner at the same time, the difference between being a judge and executioner of another person and be the judge and executioner of oneself is that we are more harsh on ourselves, we can be more severe and show us as we really are , no masks , no contemplation , no mercy ...
Over the years I have come to understand or maybe to "believe " that maybe the pain is part of life , is like a "should be" an absolute condition and inevitable to be part of this ephemeral and corrupt world full of illusory divisions called " countries ", I think painless life would not exist as it is, would be another thing , would be the place where I want to go live, many call it "Utopia" , but i, deep inside of me , know it exist ...
Today iaccept the pain when it touches my door and politely receipt ( which is not to say that I like ) but I let in and wrap my life getting the worst of me and sometimes even the best! How cynical isn't it? but maybe it should be, maybe it's what had to happen from the millions of possibilities that could be , maybe , I'll never know ...
